April 2012
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Tomorrow is April Fool's Day.
BELIEVE. NOTHING.
TRUST. NO ONE.
March 2012
241 posts
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i think
littlemisserika:
that everyone needs to leave the place where they grew up. and for more than just a couple weeks or even a couple months. i think everyone should separate themselves from the people, places, and things that have made them who they are, to find out what is left and who they really are without all of that supporting them.
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brink182:
Turns out 2007 isn’t 3 years ago anymore and it’s increased to 5
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Harry: *breaks the Elder Wand*
Effie: THAT IS MAHOGANY!!
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“Props for having a life and doing things.”
– Elizabeth Teusch
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“Fibromyalgia is very closely related to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), the main...”
– Stephen Byrnes
What I mean when I say “Ooph my ____ is so sore today.”
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“We were acting with a limited set of information. Now that we know better, we...”
– Anne M.A. Sergeant
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planets-bend-between-us:
Even if I have a formulated opinion, I tend to see and understand both sides of political and moral issues, so I get really uncomfortable when people are attacked for something they believe to be right.
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voldy92:
my concept of the progression of time stopped in like 2000
like when I see a movie that was filmed in 1995 I’m like oh that was only like 5 years ago
then I realize it was actually 17
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Philip Pullman’s Next Book Will Be a Retelling of... →
fairytalemood:
“Pullman will retell 50 of the tales, ‘from the quests and romance of classics such as Rapunzel, Snow White and Cinderella to the danger and wit of such lesser-known tales as The Three Snake Leaves, Hans-My-Hedgehog and Godfather Death’ with additional commentary on the history of each story.” (via Tor.com)
Release date: November 8, 2012
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“Hey elephants you’re so cute and smart and awesome. Why you gotta be pregnant...”
– An Open Letter to Elephants, John Green. (via shocklock)
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“Brain scans are revealing what happens in our heads when we read a detailed...”
– We no longer have to just take iconic writers’ words on the power of fiction. The New York Times’ Annie Murphy Paul explores the neuroscience of your brain on fiction and how narratives offer a way to engage the brain’s capacity to map other people’s intentions, known in psychology as “theory of...
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: For the greater good.
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Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
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Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
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Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
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Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
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Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
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Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
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Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
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Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
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Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
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B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
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Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
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Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
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Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
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Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
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Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
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Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
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Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
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Salvador Dali: The Fish.
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Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
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Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
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Epicurus: For fun.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
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Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
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Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
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Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
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David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
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Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it [censored] wanted to. That's the [censored] reason.
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Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
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Ronald Reagan: I forget.
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John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.
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The Sphinx: You tell me.
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Mr. T.: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
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Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
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Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
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Molly Yard: It was a hen!
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Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
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Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
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Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.
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The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
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Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
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Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
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Othello: Jealousy.
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Dr. Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
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Mrs. Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.
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Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
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Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.
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Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
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Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.
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Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
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Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.
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Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter.)
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Hamlet: That is not the question.
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Donne: It crosseth for thee.
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Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.
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Constable: To get a better view.
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Yeats: She was following the Faeries that sang to her to come away with them from the dull, bucolic comfort of the farmyard to the waters and the wild.
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Shelley: 'Tis a metaphor for the pursuits of man: though 'twas deemed an extraordinary occurrence at the time, still it brought little to bear on the great scheme of time and history, and was ultimately fruitless and forgotten.
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Tolkien: Chickens are respectable folk, and well thought of. They never go on any adventures or do anything unexpected. One fine spring day, as the chicken wandered contentedly around the farmyard, clucking and pecking and enjoying herself immensely, there appeared a Wizard and thirteen Dwarves who were in need of a chicken to share in their adventure. Reluctantly she joined their party, and with them crossed the road into the great Unknown, muttering about how rude the Dwarves were to take her away on such short notice, without even giving her time to brush her feathers or fetch her hat.
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Shakespeare: My chicken's eyes are nothing like the sun's; Coral is far more red then it's beak red; If snow be white, why then it's breast is uncooked; If hair be wires, there are no wires upon it; I have seen feed damask, red and white; But none such roses see I in her cheeks; And in some pavement there is more delight; Than in the road my chicken does cross; I love to hear it squawk, yet well I know; The rooster hath a far more pleasing sound; I grant I never saw no worser hen; My chicken, when it crosses, struts on the road: And yet, by heaven, I think my chicken rare As any road she has not dared.
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Nicholas Cage: To steal the Declaration of Independence.
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“You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still...”
– “Tinkerbell” Hook
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theconsultingbitch:
reblog if today you didn’t get stabbed 23 times on the floor of the senate
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expectations: I'm just going to take a quick power nap and I'll wake up refreshed and energized
reality: passed out cold for five hours solid, wake up not knowing what day it is or what the last meal you ate was
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“An egoist, then, might devote considerable attention to introspection, but could...”
– dictionary entry on usage for egotism and egoism
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Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret?
Lemony Snicket: Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.
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Reblog if you never planked or did the cinnamon...
wtfsofunny:
i wanna congratulate you on not being a dumbass.
Thanks mate.
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“Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it.”
– Anaïs Nin (via misswallflower)
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“Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how...”
– I might just copy and paste this so I can have this perfect answer ready when people say things like “but how does this “rape culture” actually affect women?” (via watsonesque)
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The Science Of Deduction: Romeo and Juliet, ~The greatest love story every told~
shakespearewithgifs:
Romeo: Everything is terrible! My life is over!
Benvolio: I’m sorry? What?
Romeo: I’m dying of grief! No one has ever suffered like I suffer! The woman I love hates me! You’re laughing at me, aren’t you?
Benvolio:
Romeo: Rosaline is perfect! She is witty and brilliant and she has...
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